How a young New York nurse affirms another’s dignityI work in a nursing home’s sub-acute rehabilitation unit. Many patients are there because of a sudden change in their health condition that does not allow them to live independently or perform their daily activities. I wanted to try to love each person and serve them.
During the first few days of my orientation, I faced a challenging, noncompliant patient. We’ll call him Mr Rossi for the purposes of this story. From what I was told, Mr Rossi was violent and hostile toward his caregivers, known for punching, scratching and screaming at anyone who attempted care.
Subconsciously I had tried to avoid Mr Rossi. Then one day, my supervisor assigned him to me. I could feel my face flush and my blood pressure soar. As the orderly and I approached the room, he warned me to be careful. I took a deep breath and remembered that I had to love this man. To really see his dignity as a person I would have to set aside my own fears and prejudices.
Remembering what the Gospel says about loving my neighbour, I began by trying to put myself in his shoes and to think about how I might be able to connect with him as a person. It occurred to me that there might be a language barrier. In fact, when I asked the orderly what language Mr Rossi spoke, he answered, “Not a lick of English; he speaks only Italian.”
For me this was great news, because I had learned a little Italian. When I walked into his room, I said in my best Italian, “Ciao, buona giornata. Come stai?” (Hello, good morning. How are you?) His eyes lit up. He understood, and something in him was responding. I continued in Italian, “Can I take your blood pressure?” He gave me his arm. As I went on explaining every step before performing it, he would respond, “Grazie.”
I realized that Mr Rossi’s problem was that he felt particularly vulnerable because he just couldn’t understand what was going on. I explained to Mr Rossi that the orderly was there to assist him with his needs. When I left the room, the orderly said, “You know, he’s not that bad of a guy.” And since then, the orderly and Mr Rossi have gotten along very well!
Now whenever I see Mr Rossi, he always shakes my hand, or greets me with a “Ciao bella” (Hello my pretty one). I was reminded that relationships are built by at least one person taking an extra step to understand the other, removing small barriers that — if left in place — could create big rifts.
By Vanessa Ruiz
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