The secret of self-esteem

By Pasquale Ionata

Source: New City Philippines (http://www.newcityph.com)

How important it is on a psychological level to know the value of the other person, with his specific traits which make him different from me?

The more profound secret of self-esteem is that of appreciating our neighbours more, and showing respect for every human being. If we try to treat others with importance, we will be surprised to discover how we will value ourselves more. Because true positive self-esteem is not a consequence of great things that we may have achieved, of the wealth we possess, of the road which we have taken, but it springs from that recognition of who we are: God’s beloved creatures.

If we are able to understand this truth, it is also necessary to value other persons for the same reason, since love for oneself cannot be separated from love of others. If we do not love ourselves, on what do we base our love for others? We know that Jesus said: “Love your neighbour as you love yourself.” The word “as” is used to indicate to consider oneself and not to neglect oneself... In fact, the commandment presupposes a certain equivalence of love for myself and for the others. It is not a quantitative equivalence, or else the commandment would have been: Love your neighbour as much you love yourself, which would mean, ironically, that a person who just loves himself must also love others with the same measure.

Clearly it is not this way. Jesus did not mean a quantitative equivalence of reciprocal love, that is, how much I love my neighbour is how much I love myself. Instead, Jesus speaks about a qualitative equivalence and that means that the other and myself are to be loved together, because we are the same, and we are but one. It means that in order to love others we also have to love ourselves in a selfless way so that we can easily go out of ourselves in loving our neighbours, and this will then become a concrete expression or example of God’s love as well.