A young girl shares her conversion from drugs to a life of real happiness and fulfillment.
When I was in second year high school, I became very vulnerable to peer pressure, exposed to a lot of temptations. I was in the world, and of the world. I had a group of friends who were of great influence to me. They always went out neglecting their studies and I also went along with what they were doing. That was my first big mistake, as I started to get curious about smoking, drinking, drugs, etc. as much as my friends were. At first, I started on a small scale, like smoking. But then it became a normal thing and things slowly got worse. At the end of the year, I took drugs for the first time. I eventually got hooked as I had a friend who was my “partner” in such activities.
During my senior year in high school, I got in with a group of friends who helped change my bad habits for a while. During this time, I met a friend who lived the life of unity. She introduced the Focolare to me, but I didn’t give it that much importance.
In my college freshman year, I took up Nursing, not because I wanted to, but because I wanted to attend the same course as my close friends. It was okay at first, but then I realized that I didn’t really like the course. Not being able to see myself working as a nurse or caring for patients, I regretted having chosen a course that my friends had picked for me. The school year was almost over and I felt very much alone. I felt so unhappy that it came to a point where I started taking drugs again, but this time it was everyday and in larger amounts. I would no longer attend classes. Closed off in my own world, I felt happy only because of drugs, smoking and alcohol. This went on for about a year. Then my family heard about it and I got into a fight with them. It seemed like the whole world was against me. I was against myself too.
Then I met the Focolare again through a friend’s family. I started to visit their home and even hang out with other young friends of this family, as well as with her friends [who are also in the Movement]. Because of them, I started to wean my self from drugs. Happy together with these friends, I no longer needed drugs to make me feel secure. I got closer to the people living the spirituality of unity. I would always go watch a movie with them or have dinner together. This went on as I entered my second year in college. I felt love entering my life again.
Slowly, I became curious about this way of life. They finally invited me to my first formal encounter with the Focolare. I was so deeply taken by their acceptance of me and the experiences they shared. It was as if God was giving me a second chance in life. This time, I was determined to find true happiness. I started to regularly attend the meetings, and then I eventually felt the change inside me. I saw my life in a different perspective for I realized how much my family loved me. They had accepted me in spite of my failures and they had always been there for me, yet I had never seen that because I was so full of myself. I wanted to start over again. I renewed all my relationships especially with my family and friends.
I understood what God’s will was for me. I forgot everything in my past, believing in the mercy and forgiveness of God. What helped me was to concentrate on doing what was right in every moment. I realized then that I had begun a new life of love. This was to always focus on what God wants from me and to always choose what is good in freedom. In the Focolare, I was accepted for who I truly am. There was no need for me to pretend to be who I was not or to prove myself, I was loved unconditionally. Experiencing unity among everyone, I found the courage to change for the better. I discovered my family.
Because of this life of unity, I am now in the world, but not of the world. If I ever fail again, I will try to never give up but always start anew, for I know now what will truly make me happy.
CG
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