sabato 18 febbraio 2012

Helping discover the big picture

I was teaching at a college near Boston. One day I returned an exam to my class. One student was not very happy with the result: her grade was very low. When I asked students for comments, she “attacked” me; according to her, it was my fault that she had done poorly on the test. I asked her a few questions that prompted an even stronger negative reaction from her. I found myself becoming defensive and getting angry. Her reaction was getting too personal. I was thinking “Who do you think you are?” and the like. But then another thought came to mind; I have to take the initiative in loving, even in this tense situation, because Jesus tells me “Whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me” (Mt 25:40), which in this case meant, “I was distressed, depressed and angry and you listened to me.”

A 180-degree shift occurred in me. The words of Scripture had brought about change. In that moment those words helped me to love, by putting aside my anger and becoming like a sponge that absorbed the student’s negativity and anger. The class was expecting lightning to strike. Instead I simply asked her, with some degree of peace, “Why don’t we talk after class?”
Everybody was surprised and a positive mood enveloped the whole class like a rush of fresh air in a smoky room. Something intangible but real had happened. The student apologized and the class became a “family under God” in that moment. Something “sacred” touched us all; the Word of God, applied to real-life circumstances, was the unifying force. I met with the student in my office several times afterward to talk about life.
The semester ended. Summer break came. The student was not in my class anymore. One day I saw her again. Smiling, she approached me and invited me to lunch. I gladly accepted. During lunch she told me, “Do you remember the dialogue we had in your office after that difficult situation? I was in distress because I didn’t want to go to medical school, as my foreign parents — doctors for generations — wanted strongly, and the low grade on your test would have affected my grade point average. Your kindness and the conversation we had helped me understand that before tests and pleasing my parents I had to discover the real meaning of my life. I am not a Christian, but you gave me a clue to discover the ‘big picture’: if I want to discover meaning I have to practice loving kindness, the golden rule in my life. This summer, instead of the usual vacation of an affluent student, I went to work as a volunteer in a Hospice for AIDS patients in San Francisco. There I grasped something about life I had never understood before, the art of living the Golden Rule everywhere. As a consequence I had the courage to tell my parents that I am choosing another profession, less prestigious and with less money, but more in sync with my deepest aspirations.”
— M. N., Colorado

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