FRATERNITY: OUR HOBBY AS A GIFT TO ONE ANOTHER

Source: Francesco Châtel, “Created as a gift”

Living with – living for the others

Let’s take a look at another way of life: that of being not only among people, but with the people. This is the choice made by those who want to go beyond their own little world and interests, in order to reach out to the others; trying to get to know them, to meet them and help one another.

This is an important step that fulfils a deep need – a very deep one - that is in every person.

However, if we were to look closer, we would see that people normally adopt such an attitude because they find it useful. They realize that they cannot live well on their own. They need the other persons’ help and love.

Since, I cannot expect the other persons’ assistance without doing my share therefore even I have to sacrifice something. This leads us to overcome our selfishness that makes us fear that, if we give space to others, they might take advantage and our sacrifice may turn out to be futile.

The decision to sacrifice all that is mine in order to make space to the other person will depend on the way I perceive people and life. The greater and more comprehensive vision I possess of the person, the more I will be willing to sacrifice myself for its fulfilment. The more my ideal of life is part of me, the more I let go of many things so that the ideal becomes concrete.

Then there are people who not only strive to live with the others, but decide to live for the others. Looking at their life we will discover an important change: what is more evident in them is not so much the sacrifice but the joy of giving.

Nonetheless, even these persons have to lose part of their space and ideas in order to welcome the other person and be a gift for him/her. However, their perspective is different. They are not such as those who lose something in order to make space for the other, but, their whole purpose in life is to be for the other and experience that their gift is not lost, but shared. Their fulfilment lies, first of all, in giving. If the other persons don’t respond, they would still be happy. If instead, the others were to respond in a positive manner, then their joy will be evermore full and they will receive their gift enriched by the others’ gift.

Therefore, through living for others and feeling one with them, they experience the gratuity of being in relationship (I am in relationship because it’s part of my being and not because I am in search of something) and consequently free to give and to receive.